When It Don't Come Easy (sings patty griffin)

The past few days, the art has not come easily.  It's been every analogy of a struggle you can think of- pulling teeth, herding cats, cuddling with a porcupine, leading a horse to water, and so on and so forth.  And then there are the practical concerns that have been difficult- being unable to find good oops paint colors, having my tiny craft iron get all feisty with me, being completely distracted by meteor shower camping times.

Grrrr.

The main sticking point I have right now is that I despise this collage I am about halfway into. When I say I hate it, it really means I just have no idea how to make it.  Maybe because it doesn't yet have a strong narrative.  Maybe because I am impatient. Maybe because I am thinking about things too literally. Maybe I'm thinking too much, and not Just Working On It.

I really am throwing my hands up in the air with this one.

So, this is it: it's a golden swan on a background of green equilateral triangles (alchemical symbols for fire and water).  The folk tale of the golden swan is the inspiration, sorta.  And the gold is freaking me out, because gold isn't really "gold"- it reflects and has light and warmth, or it looks green and brown and there's the sheen, and I don't know how to make it look un-cheesy with these scraps of glossy Louis Vuitton ads. Ugggg.

I feel like it has a lesson for me, this piece.  They all teach me something, which is why I am not throwing it out completely. I'm standing in the footsteps of all the characters in the story, re-reading it, trying on their perspectives. And yet, very little is coming easy or at all. And I'm no stranger to ripping chunks off of collages and starting over, but I'm not sure that is the answer this time either.

Help.  Suggestions.  Yes.


In other news:

•  Here is a lovely post from my friend Rachel that helps encourage me to keep on keepin' on, and not to try to expect where you will end up...
• Another of my friend Rachels, has a new zine that I can't wait to get my hands on. 
• Studio mate Jonathan has been reading aloud the latest Neil Gaiman book to Cyr and me, but we are only halfway through and Wow.  The Ocean at the End of the Lane.  Read it, but don't talk to me about it yet.  
• The research that is organically happening for songs for The Gold Rust, including translating and untranslating Irish to English in Google Translate is pretty entertaining, and is inspiring so many future collages that I need to sharpen my scissors...
• On repeat in the studio, in my car, at Lone Pine when I am there, and in my brain when I sleep: the new Civil Wars, the latest Laura Veirs, Patty Griffin's Ohio, and the two singles from the new Neko Case.  Oh, my How I can't wait for September Third.  
• I have slept outside four nights in the last three weeks.  I plan on adding four more before next Wednesday.  
• I fly east in One Week, to spend some time with the soldier, and with James the Boot, hopefully, and I am so excited.  
• I have sketched out the mural for Visit Bend, but that's another post.
• I am celebrating an insane amount of lovely blessings happening to friends near and far, and planning for about six years from now when a couple of those blessings get shipped out for a week in the summer to see their Wild "Auntie" Kaycee in the Wild Lands of Cascadia.  Hopefully, their moms will come, too.